PS. I wrote a story for Tell it in Colour last month. Read HERE
Thursday, 9 January 2014
PS. I wrote a story for Tell it in Colour last month. Read HERE
Wednesday, 26 September 2012
Thursday, 5 April 2012
Saturday, 31 March 2012
I just did my hair for the last time without a mirror. I am now sat on a train travelling from Basingstoke to London Waterloo (not looking at my reflection in the window next to me) having spent a wonderful time with a wonderful friend (and her husband), on my way to spend some time with extended family, and can smell my shampoo, extra strongly aromatic today for some reason. No complaints.
I've come to the end of two months without mirrors. And I feel refreshed.
I've relied on my inner mirror for 60 days. The image of myself I have in my head. The one that has memories of what I look like, that imagines up a picture of me depending on how I groom myself. These images are inaccurate at times. Like the time a couple weeks ago I rocked up to a lecture thinking my makeup was presentable, but was greeted by a bunch of (honest) friends who leaped onto my face, fixing the explosion of eyeshadow that had somehow spread across it. If they had been a little less honest, or had a sense of humour closer to that of my father, I would never have known I looked like a 5 year old who had raided her mum's makeup bag and used the contents to craft a less than intricate work of art.
Until I was told I looked off, I had no idea. I contently walked about with my mind on something else.
That's how these couple months have been. I haven't been showed what I look like, and so the image in my head is what I had to go with. Thoughts did arise making me feel insecure, but not being able to look meant I was able to shrug them off quicker. I couldn't obsess over trying to fix my look, because well, I haven't been able to see how to do so. Not being able to look meant I looked elsewhere, got distracted, and spent less time thinking about my outward self.
Do I still have insecurities? Yes. Do I still care about what I look like? Yes. Do I want to start looking at myself again? Yes I do, and I'll let you know what has changed after my first look tomorrow!
Thursday, 1 March 2012
Today marked the final day of my challenge. I made it. I haven't seen myself in a month. So to celebrate, I'm going to not look at myself for another month! Bear with me, there is some logic behind this insanity:
1. I can't think of any other crazy challenges for the month of March.
2. I quite like the feel of my room with my mirror turned around the way it is.
3. I feel like if I stopped now, I would quickly slip back into my old vain habits.
4. I'm tempted to go a month without makeup, but i'm too chicken right now so this is a way of putting that off.
5. I have learned a lot, and I'm too fired up about learning more to stop now!
Now all I need is someone to pluck my eyebrows and trim my hair. Any takers?
(ps. Though I've hardly mentioned it, I've loved being off facebook. I loved how many more interesting and productive things I found to do. It's good to be back in touch with the world, but I'm setting myself a 30 minute time limit per day to stop me from partaking in any unhealthy, unnecessary activities)
Tuesday, 28 February 2012
I was at the physio, because apparently I have shin splints caused by crooked big toes which are making my knees hurt when I run, and she made me look at my reflection to see what my knees do when I perform one-legged squats (after I figured out how to do a one-legged squat, it was evident that my knees bend slightly outwards). I wasn't aware of this before she pointed it out, nor did I know they weren't meant to bend that way (FYI I didn't look at myself above my knees in the mirror, so the challenge has not failed. I was also pleased to discover my mirror fast hasn't had an effect on my knee-hotness).
The physio gave me two options:
Numero uno - Not bother doing anything. Ignoring the problem isn't going to kill me, it just means running will always be a struggle.
Two - Go to the physio on a weekly basis to fix the shin splints by undergoing various forms of prodding(ouch!), get orthotics for the inside of my shoes to straighten my toes out, and eventually be able to run again.
Running is something I enjoy greatly, so the first option would pose a bit of a problem. Opting for the latter, though more painful and costly now, means I will run again.
I was shown in the mirror what needed to be changed, told how to change, and now the choice to change or not is my own to make! Changing is not the easy route, it's not the cheap route, but it's the route that'll allow me to run again!
Changing is central to living the life God wants us to live. We're called to change ourselves, and then join the fight to bring change to the world (Stay tuned: I'll talk about changing the world in an entry coming up!).
A common problem people have with Christianity lies within the "rules" the bible sets out. Dos and Don'ts and everything in between can overwhelm the reader, and failing to meet them leaves one basking in a pool of guilt. This is not the intention. The bible is more than just a mirror reflecting our bad sides. Its intention is precisely that of the physio: to show us our flaws, give us instruction on how to correct them, and provide us with more support than we will ever need to set them in place. It is not going to happen over night, or in one go, it's going to take sacrifice and patience and stumbles and pick ups and let downs and baby steps and tears and pain and sweat. In Luke 9, Jesus tells us to pick up our crosses and follow him. Daily. When Jesus picked up the cross he was killed on, he was battered and bruised and torn up all over. He picked up a massive tree-sized object and lugged it up a mountain. And he lugged it up a mountain all the while aware he was carrying the thing he was going to be nailed to for hours until he died.
Telling us to pick up our crosses daily in no way implies the ride/hike up the mountain is going to be an easy one. Quite the opposite, there's a daily challenge to face, a challenge not necessarily oozing excitement.
There is hope though. Not the airy-fairy kind of hope we play around with when we talk about the weather in Northern Ireland. The kind of hope the bible uses. A strong and confident expectation, a CERTAINTY that what God has promised will occur. There's a treatment with 100% recovery guaranteed. There's a freedom guaranteed. And that's the reflection God has planned for your mirror.
Question is, do you want to run?
Tuesday, 21 February 2012
I have 5 blog entries lined up, each of which is incomplete, each of which I'm undecided on, each of which could be merged with another of which. Truth: I'm feeling a bit uninspired. So uninspired in fact, that I'm not entirely convinced what I'm writing right now is important enough to blog about, but I figured you could do with an update on my challenge.
I'm still plodding along with it; only a week to go now! Today I went for an "unbrushed" look, a daring enough look when I can see the mane to tame it, so I struggled a bit more than I usually would with not being able to check the face out. Key lesson so far: learning that learning is not something you can necessarily see in the every day.
Now, to ensure you don't completely give up on this blog, here're a couple extras for you:
1. This prayer is doing me a world of good these days:
2. This video is stunning